Richard E Kelly

During a recent visit to Grand Rapids, Michigan, one of my granddaughters, 13-year-old Anneliese “Annie” Kelly Waalkes, asked if she and I could do something special with one of her friends, Morgan Nicole Locke.

“Like go find the best ice cream in Grand Rapids?” I suggested.

Annie responded with an incredulous, “You’re kidding, right Papa?”

“No.” I replied.

Papa, Annie & Morgan

Annie’s eyes lit up and she rewarded me with a naughty-girl smile, asking if she could call Morgan right away. While it wasn’t said, she knew if she waited too long her parents might kibosh the plan. Hearing Annie repeatedly assure Morgan that this wasn’t a joke only added to the pleasure of a doting grandfather.

Morgan & Annie in front of Jersey Junction

We began our journey at Jersey Junction in East Grand Rapids. If you check Google, this is the best ice cream experience in town and the ever-present aroma of freshly baked waffle cones and old-fashion décor makes it easy to understand why.

Morgan ready to attack Cake Batter

Morgan chose Cake Batter and Annie Milky Way. Sweet, savory, gooey and lemony with a hint of coffee were just a few of the adjectives used by the girls to describe their Hudsonville ice cream experience. On a scale of 1 to 10, Morgan rated the flavors a 7 and a 6, while Annie gave Cake a 6 and Milky a 7. When I asked Morgan if Cake was a boy or a girl, she insisted he was all boy, calling him Josh. Annie named hers Hailey and said that the two
flavors were destined to get married.

Annie enjoying Sea Salt Caramel,

Our second destination was to Gus’s Original, which serves MOO-ville ice cream. Annie chose Sea Salt Caramel and called it Luke. Morgan decided on Cookie Dough, calling her Meredith. They both preferred Sea Salt giving it a 10 and an 8. Dough got a 5 and a 4. Would the combo make a good marriage? “No! It’s like the movie, The Proposal, except they wouldn’t get together in the end.”

Morgan & Annie with their gelato

Our next stop was at a D&W store that serves Palazzolo’s gelato. Morgan chose Dutch Fudge Cookies & Cream and called it Carl. Annie picked White Chocolate Raspberry calling it Katherine. They both gave Katherine a 1. Carl was not much better and received a 3, “putting Katherine to shame,” they confessed.

Icing on the Cake & Splish Splash at Baskin Robbins

Our journey ended at a Baskin Robbins on Plainfield. Annie decided on Splish Splash, calling it very refreshing after bad gelato. It reminded her of a flavor her sister Erika would like although she called it Victoria. Morgan chose Icing On The Cake, saying it was really sweet like a jolly rancher birthday cake. She called her experience Betsy. Annie rated the two choices with a 7 and a 6, while Morgan reversed the ranking. They agreed that these two flavors were good together and had what it takes to sustain a good long-term friendship.

According to both girls, the best place to experience the total ambience of ice cream was at Jersey Junction, hands down. However, the best ice cream of the day was Moo-ville’s Sea Salt Caramel. And as we drove home, I asked them if the philosophical lesson learned from the eight scoops-of-ice-cream experience was that you can have too much of a good thing. They shook their heads in agreement, or at least I thought they did, and said that it made sense. But, they couldn’t recall any personal experience that they had in the last year to support that point of view.

Annie & Morgan at Gus's Original

My 15-year-old granddaughter, Katrina, steals the show at a recent concert. If you like “Phantom of the Opera” you are going to love how she hits the high notes. Enjoy!

Katrina’s direct link to her awesome performance

The “ghosts” I refer to in my new book, which will be published in May, are metaphors for the toxic residue—dysfunctional behavior patterns—that people acquire during their time in a cult, in my case Jehovah’s Witnesses. These “ghosts” manifest themselves in various forms. True cult believers will see the ghosts as warrior angels, championing God’s truth. But individuals who decide to abandon their high-control religious experience will encounter haunting Ghosts, ghosts with the potential to hinder them from becoming mature individuals able to lead productive lives.

In either case, the ghosts are active agents in the life of both the believers and the former believers, acting as wardens, trying to restrict actions and thoughts. Each ghost is capable of reconstituting itself in many shapes and forms in an effort to bedevil those people who try to leave the cult as well as those who have left it. The six ghosts that you will meet in this book are:

1. The Ghost of Misinformation – This is the most insidious of the ghosts. It creeps into one’s life in various ways, constantly affecting one’s decisions, thoughts and actions. For instance, in the case of Jehovah’s Witnesses, this ghost insists that one will die at Armageddon unless…
2. The Ghost of Separation – Shunning is the principal manifestation of this ghost. This ghost also uses separation anxiety to make it difficult to bring closure to a person’s cult experience.
3. The Ghost of Inadequacy – The manifestations of this ghost are an inability to think for oneself, an inability to articulate well-thought out beliefs, and a nagging feeling of inadequacy, especially by women.
4. The Ghost of Dependency – The manifestations of this ghost are an inability to assimilate into mainstream society, a need to control and put down other people, a lack of self-control and an attraction to high-control religious groups and/or people.
5. The Ghost of Guilt – This ghost leaves its victim in a constant state of guilt.
6. The Ghost of Indignation – Blaming the cult for one’s complicity—taking no responsibility for going along with the rules and constraints—and obsessively trying to topple the cult are two reactions that characteristically beset people who have emancipated themselves from their indoctrinations.

While I tell my story in The Ghosts from Mama’s Club, I’ll explain why I have enumerated the ghosts as I have and thoroughly explain the ways in which each ghost affects the lives of those who are still manacled as well as those, like myself, who have freed themselves of those shackles. But please do not forget, my book is about real people—the good, the bad and it is what it is—and their struggles to find meaning in their lives.